SMS, Text Messages

Teacher : What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

Wife: What is 10 years with me?
Husband: A second.

Wife: What is $1000 for me?
Husband: A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband: Wait a second

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”?
JOHNY: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHNY: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”

Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.

U r a nice person…
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live….

Judge: why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shooting her lover?
Man: Your honor,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

Teacher : Correct the sentence,
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“damn I am really so cute”
u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
And
Say that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Books And Study

Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But
Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”

Misuse of English!
A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear
So the Teacher Drew The Diagram On Da Blackboard
&
said:
“Don’t Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure”:D

Fact about women:
They can see a hair of a girl
on their husband’s coat from 20 meters,
but can’t see a pillar from 2 meters
while parking a car . . . 😀

READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
“DON’T OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK otherwise YOU’ll face problem”
Man finished the book with great fear but didn’t open the last page.
.
.
.
But,after a week,
Out of curiosity he opened the last page and..
he almost fainted to see..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Retail Price: Rs 30/-

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said: Tell the bird’s name
Man: I don’t know
Examiner: U r failed. Whats Ur name?
Man: You see my legs, and tell me.

Importance of thumb…

Children use it 4 chewing

Illiterate people use it 4 sign

Winners 4 victory
.
.
AND
.
.
My FANS use it 4 reading my messages
.
.
.
.
.
Oh….u too…..?

Do u want to hear a dirty joke?
.
.
.
Are you sure?
.
.
.
OK, here you go…
.
.
.
A white horse fell in the mud

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

I just feel u….
Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wanna See u ….
Do u know why…….

It’s juts because …………

******I LOVE CARTOONS*******

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Sam: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Sam: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

A recently fired
stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”

Q: Do u know y in a couple’s photo
man is on d right side & woman on d left?
A: Coz as per balance sheet, Liabilities r on d
Left Side & Assets on d Right!

Tom : How should I convey the
news to my father that I’ve failed?

David: You just send a telegram:
Result declared, past year’s performance repeated.

I wrote your name on sand,
it got washed.

I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.

I wrote your name on my heart &
i got Heart Attack.

Our friendship means a lot to me.
U cry i cry.
U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window
I look down & then
.
.
.
I laugh again

Man 1:
“I m Always Delighted
When People Stick Their
Noses In My
Business.”

Man 2:
“Why, What Do You Do?”

Man 1:
“i’ve A Company, Make
Tissue Papers …” ;->

What Happens When
The Elephant Sat On
The Mercedes Car … ???
.
.
.
.
Everyone Knows
“The Mercedes bends” ;->

Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,
while soap in ur eyes.
Oh! sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.
Its only 4 those who do not take bath everyday…

If you need advice,
text me…
If you need a friend,
call me…
If you need me,
come to me…
But
If you need money.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

Man: Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key.
Doctor: When ?
Man: Three Months Ago
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Man: We were using duplicate key

We will now upgrade your brain,
please wait….
Searching….
searching…
still searching….
Sorry,
NO BRAIN found…!

Open with Love…
If I disturb U
I am Sorry!
But I need
To Say
I…
Love…
Disturbing you…

><(((:>
I send you this fish
as a sign of our
FRIENDSHIP please
take care of it, Keep it
in your mobile.
Daily put your mobile in water,
So that this fish won’t die.

Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one student.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

I Thank The Lord For
The Gift Of Friendship
Where I Can Be Myself
And Be Accepted
As I Am And For
Finding A Home In
The Heart Of A Friend.

“Every One In This
Beautiful World Has
An Individual Name.
” But, V All Together Have A
Common Name
Called
“F R I E N D S”
In Our Beautiful Hearts.

B a POET Whn U r ALONE
B a KiNG Whn U COMMAND
B a SCiENTiST Whn U WORK
B a LOVER Whn U C ARTS
B a HiSTORY Whn U DiE
&
B My BEST FRiEND Until I DiE . . . |?!’|

A sincere FRIEND is an extension of my ownself
Without whom I m incomplete..
So,
Take Gud care of yourself..
B’coz I don?t want to lose a part of myself ? ;->

When You Ask GOD For A Gift,
Be Thankful If He Sends,
Not Diamonds, Pearls Or Riches
But
The Love Of Real True Friends. . . /^_^\

A smile is a sign of joy
A hug is a sign of love
A laugh is a sign of happiness
A friend like Me ?.
Well thats a sign of ur Good Taste

Life is a miracle, dont let it slip away..
Open ur heart to others
Give urself each day
See the beauty in everyone
Regardless of where they?ve been
Some have a difficult journey
And
Really need a FRiEND . . . |?!’|

Make A Friend,
Its A Gift!
Have A Friend,
Its A Grace!
Keep A Friend,
Its Virtue!
But Being A Good
Friend,Its A
Honor,Like
U?

1 Injection of Trust,
1 Tablet of care,
1 Syrup of attention,
1 Drip of understanding,
take 3 times a day! Its all necessary 4 the health of our FRNDSHIP!

My heart is like an open BOOK
It depends on how you read ME
Don?t judge me by my COVER
Look inside and discover i will be ur true friend 4EVER??;-

Weakly One Day Holiday,
Monthly One Day Salary Day,
Yearly One Day Birthday,
Lively One Day Death Day,
But Sharing
FRIENDSHIP
Is Every Day

Making Friends Is Not Abt
Collecting Pearls Or Diamonds!
Its Abt Accepting One As Coal
N Wait Til D Warmth
Of Frndship
Turns It To Diamond.

So Many Hands In 1 Tiffin Box
So Many Frnds In 1 Bench.
So Many Calls On 1 B?day Nite.
So Many Tears 4 1 Little Fight
Frndz! R D Bst Part Of Our Life

7 Very Rare Gifts Given By God,
Dad?s Hug
Mom?s Luv
Brother?s Fight
Sister?s Care
Lovely Sleep
Lover?s Hurting
& our
Frndship.
Don’t Miss Them??.!

F.r.i.e.n.d.s.h.i.p
Is The Bond …
When The Ties Between Two Cannot Be Worn
Where Selfishness Is Out Of Question
And
Emotion Is An Art Of Devotion … =)
A Good Friend
Is Like A Light House
It Doesn’t
Ring Bells, Fire Guns To Call Attention
When You Are Lost …
It Simply Stands Tall And Shines … =]

Birth
is
from
Mother
Advice
is
from
Father
Knowledge
is
from
Teacher
Life
is
from
partner
But
joy,
fun,
jokes,
lifelong smiles
is
from
FRIEND .
Isn’t It?

Friendship is a silent gift of nature..
More old .. more strong..
More deep.. more clear..
More close.. more warm..
Less words.. more understanding..

Never Try Alone To Take The Weight Of Tear That Comes Out Of Ur Heart & Falls Through Ur Eyes
ALWAYS REMEMBER
A
FRIEND
IS
HERE
TO
SHaRE … !
(:

// T o D a Y z
T h O u G h T //
” If We ArE tO jUdGe oF lOvE
bY iTs CoNsEqUeNcEs,
It MoRe NeArLy ReSeMbLeS
HATRED
Than
FRIENDSHIP …”

U Can Nvr Find A Perfect Frnd In Me
Coz Wat Makes Me Human
Is My Imprefection
But I GUARANTEE That
I’ll ALWAYS B Ur
FRIEND Not Perfect But True

Old Msgs R Deleted
When New Msgs Cum 2 Inbox
Old Frnds R Ignored Wen New1 Cums
Never Do Dis Mistake Coz Same
Msgs Can Be Created
But Not D Same Old Frnd !

God wanted 2make a person full of love
He made
MOTHER 🙂
A person full of support and encouragement
He made
FATHER 🙂
Sum1 who can offer help always
He made
BROTHER 🙂
Sum1 to play pranks & add joy
He made
SISTER 🙂
Den God decided 2make a special person who has all da qualities 2gether all in 1. . .
So He made. . .
Friends
Friendship 4evr!

A FrIeNd OpEnS a CoNvErSaTiOn WiTh A fUlL nEwZ bUlLeTiN oN hIs LiFe …
BuT
A rEaL fRiEnD sAyZ:
“wHaT’s NeW wItH yOu ?” (:
EnJoY fRiEnDs On ThIs SpEcIaL dAy

The Light Of
“F.r.I.e.N.d.S.h.I.p”
Is Like
The Light Of
“P.h.O.s.P.h.O.r.U.s”
Seen Plainest
When
All Around Is “D.a.R.k” … (:->

Birth’ Is 0nce..
‘Youth’ Is 0nce..
‘Death’ Is 0nce..
‘Love’ Is 0nce..
‘Marriage’ Is 0nce
But
‘FRIENDSHIP’ Is ‘Runs’ Forever…

A Friend Worth Having,
A Task Worth Doing,
A Treasured Dream That’s Worth Pursuing,
A Truth Worth Giving,
A Faith Worth Sharing …
Make
L.I.F.E
Worth Living (=

FrIeNdShIp
Is A gIfT,
tHaT iS fAiR iN aLl tHiNgZ.
iT rOoTs FrOm OnE’s HeArT
&
iNvOlVeS mEmOrIeS
tHaT sTaY nOt
FoR a WhIlE
bUt
FoR a LiFeTiMe … -,-

A Friend Is Like A Book
That Has To Be Read To Appreciate Its Beauty
As Such, You Are 1 Of The Finest Books Ever Written
How I Wish You Could Be Reprinted 🙂

1 Seed Can Create A Forest.
1 Smile Can Start A
Relationship.
1 Touch Can Show
Love-N-Care.
And A Friend Like
You Can Bring Meanin 2 Live