SMS, Text Messages

U r sweet like
TOM
Cute like
JERRY
Naughty like
BUGS BUNNY
Clever like
ALADDIN,
Strong like
POPEYE
IN SHORT

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I”m going to mine.
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell

2day i have not sent SMS 2 anybody Except U.
2day i have not thought about anybody Except U.
Because my policy is?
one day one fool…..!

If today any 1 talks & praises u 4 Ur
1) good looks
2 ) nature
3 ) style
4 ) attitude,
kick them off.
How dare they fool u…

Not Every Flower Can Represent Love,
But Rose Did It.
Not Every Tree Can Stand Thirst
But Cactus Did It.
Not Every Monkey Can Read SMS
But You Did It…

God Granted Me One Wish.
I Asked For World Peace,
He Said Its Impossible Please Ask For Something Else.
I Asked Him To Make You Intelligent,
He Said Wait Let Me Try World Peace…

Scientists all over the world r wondering,
how long a human being can live without brain.
Please tell them Ur age.

Yesterday Was An International Day For The Mentally Disabled.
Please Send An Encouraging Message To A Mentally Disabled Friend,
As I Have Done…

sometimes my mind asks….
why?
I MISS YOU
why?
I CARE FOR YOU
why?
I REMEMBER YOU

then… My heart answered….
its simple….
‘BECAUSE FOOLS NEED MORE CARE…!:)

News:
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3 Chimps escaped from the zoo…
1 was caught watching TV…
another taking bath in swimming pool and
the third one was caught reading this text message.

Everything has a day…
Every pet has a day…
Every fool too has a day!
Hope you might have enjoyed your day!

Love+ship=Titanic
Dinosaur+Forest=Jurassic park
Arnold+Gun=Terminator
U+Ur smile=The mummy returns

do u remember Ur childhood? wen u went to a toy shop and asked shopkeeper – uncle how much cost of that monkey?…and shop keeper reply-that is a mirror my child..

21st Century Is Truly LIFELESS:
Communication: WIRELESS
Cooking: FIRE LESS
Youth: JOBLESS
This Msg: MEANINGLESS
Sender: PRICELESS
Reader: USELESS

which is the painful way of death? Poison, Murder, Accident!, Tsunami!!! Don’t worry. its simple very very simple. ‘ur smile’.

Plz Don’t Neglect This
Msg
A Poor Boy
Suffering From Mental
Disorder Needs Shock
Treatment
Plz Send Ur Photo
So That
He Gets The
PROPER SHOCK

A Bf Brought Present 4 His GF
GF(After Opening)
What D Hell Would I Do With Dis Diwali Rocket ?
BF : U Wanted Stars Na?
Now Sit On It N Get Lost!!

Cellphone using is very Dangerous
&
It damages the Brain
But,
U R so Lucky,
No Brain.!
No Damage.!
No Problem.!!!

Superman is Flying
Spider man is Jumping
Batman is Running
Hit man is Fighting
Gentleman is Sending SMS
Doberman is reading SMS
Ha Ha Ha.

Ha
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Nothing,
I suddenly remembered Ur face..?
Oh my god..?
What a funny creation..

I’d love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can’t count that high.

Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
No???
Quickly see your driving license.

Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.

Hi I M Dying To See You,
I Want To Meet You,
I Want To Talk To You Seriously
But What To Do ……………
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Stupid Gatekeeper Is Asking Me
Ticket To Enter The Zoo…

I Chased Love,
I Found Friendship,
I Chased Desires,
I Found Hopes,
I Chased Reality,
I Found Dreams,
I Chased A Monkey
I Found You…

Your network tariff has changed!
Call charges r now calculated according 2 brain size.
The smaller the cheaper!
Congrats you can make free calls!

2 devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said we want 2 disturb sum nice persons.
I suggest them yr name.
They said we can’t disturb our bosses.

U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live….

1 day a donkey looked in2 the mirror and said,
“Oh my ugly face, big nose” & killed himself.
Promise me you will not look in2 the mirror,
Bcoz I don’t wanna loose you!

Why do U think I SMS u ?
Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It’s b’coz…
I need a person for just time pass….

Think u r sitting in front of computer,
what will computer think…?
.
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‘Intel inside…,
‘mental outside..’

Life’s like a movie!
If u r sad- DRAMA,
If u r afraid- SUSPENSE,
If u r angry- ACTION,
If u look in mirror- COMEDY!
.
.
Now u r smiling!
That’s- HORROR!! 😉

Sleeping duration
For women 5 hrs
For men 6 hrs
For children 7 hrs
For monkey 8 hrs
Hello my dear u r 8 hrs is over get up

A MAN IS WAITING FOR WOMEN
MOTHER FOR CHILDREN.
BUSINESS MAN FOR CUSTOMER
FARMERS FOR CROPS.
ONE MONKEY IS WAITING TO READ MY SMS…HA HA HA…….

Scientific Question For U.. How Does Blood Reach Ur Brain,,.. Simple.. Direction Of Liquid Is Always Towards The EMPTY SPACE.. Ha Ha Ha

I Like Grapes
Bcoz Its Boneless.
And I Like u
Bcoz…
u r Brainless
Ha..Ha..Ha..
Felt bad?
Cum‘on friend,
Its just A

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Fact.

Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver and wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan.
Husband:What was THAT for?
Wife:I found a paper in your pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband:I played RACE last week and Jenny was the name of my HORSE.
Wife:Sorry!
Next day the Wife hit him with the Frying Pan AGAIN!
Husband:Why?
Wife:Your Horse PHONED!

wife : Look A Thief Has Entered Our Kitchen

N He Is Eating D Cake Prepared By Me

Husband: Whom should I Call

Now Police Or Ambulance..

Wife to doc: Doc, I think my husband has a fearful disease.I talk to him for hours and he doesn’t hear a word I say.
Doc:That’s not a disease, its a gift!

Husband:I’ll admit I’m wrong if you’ll admit I’m right!
Wife:I agree! u go first!
Husband:OK,I’m wrong!
Wife(with a twinkle in her eye):you are right!

Wife going to USA
Wife: Do u want anything from USA?
Husband: Yeah, an English girl
Wife returns from USA
Husband: where’s my gift?
Wife: wait for 9 months

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no

Wife: (expecting a car)
Gift me something which goes from 0 to 100 in 3 seconds when I’m on it.
Husband: gifted her a weighing machine…. .!

2 Married Men Talking-
10yrs Ago,
Whenever I Returned Home,
My Dog Used To Greet Me By Barking & My Wife By Kissing.
Now They Both Exactly Do The Opposite

Man On His Death Bed Confesses 2 His Wife-I Had An Affair With Ur Sister, Ur Best Friend & The Maid.
Wife : I Know Darling. Now Relax & Let The Poison Work! ..;-)

Wife: If I removed the cook & make the food myself 4 a month,what will u pay me?
Husband: I don’t have 2 pay u, u will get my entire insurance amount.;-)

Women live a better,
longer & peaceful life.. !!
Why?
Very simple…..
A woman does not have a wife !!!!

A Sad girl was sitting with her husband
Husband: U r d second most beautiful girl, I’ve ever seen.
Girl: Who’s the first?
Husband: It’s YOU When u smile.

Man 2 pretty girl in market:
I lost my wife here, can U talk to me for a while?
Girl: Why?
Man: B’Coz whenever I talk to any Girl, my Wife appears out of nowhere!;-)

Love Is The Thing That …
Enables A Woman To Sing
While She Mops Up The Floor
After
Her Husband Has Walked Across It
In His Barn Boots … =P ;->

Wife: Wherever We Keep D Money,
Our Son Steals It.
I Don’t Know What To Do About It
Hus: Keep It In His ENGINEERING Books.
He’ll Never Touch!

Oneliner:
+ When I Met My Wife
I Knew She Was ‘Miss Right.!’
I Didn’t Know That Her
First Name Was
‘Always’ 🙂

What Is The Next Thing
A Man Should Do After
Winning An
Argument With His Wife ?
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Apologize !!!;)

Husband & wife were reading books in public library.
Wife stood up go 2 the librarian, and said: Can i go out to photo state some pages of this book.
Librarian:yes!of course,but plz give me ur i.d or 500 Rs. 4 guarantee,
Wife: whats the need 4 it, my husband is there reading book, while i come,
Librarian: that’s right,but we want that reader should leave his/her such thing 4 that he come back compulsory.

Wife- Beggar Who Came Yesterday Is Very Bad
Husband- Ya ?
Wife- I Gave Him Food Yesterday & Today He Gifted Me A Book How To Cook?

Every Lady Hopes That Her Daughter Will Marry A Better Man Than She Did & Is Convinced That Her Son Will Never Find A Wife As Good As His Father Did !!!!

Man : My wife is too good. She can talk on any subject for hours.
Friend : Ahh!!! my wife is better, she does not even need a subject to talk about!

Wife: ?I Think Our Daughter is in Love with Someone?
Husband:
?How Do U Know??
Wife:
?B’coz She ?s Not Asking For Pocket Money?

70 year old man asked his wife.
Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can?t drive it.