SMS, Text Messages

Teacher to student: which book has helped u most in u r life?
Student: my father’s checkbook

Doctor- i have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient- give me the bad news first.
Doctor- the lab called with your test results. U have 24 hours to live.
Patient.- that’s terrible! What could b more worse than this?
Doctor- i have been trying to reach u since yesterday!

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
Upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny
That goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!’ I gifted her
A weighing scale

Baby Mosquito
came back after its
1st time flying.
His dad asked him,
“How do you Feel.?”
He replied, “It was Wonderful, Everyone
was Clapping For Me.!”

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, You know, I was a fool when I married you. She replied, Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn’t notice.

Why are American names like Jackson, Wilson, Markson, Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davison, Jemson?
So that mom can remember who is whose son.

Newly married couple went to a restuarant.
Husband: Darling, now we r just like one person.
Wife: It’s ok. But don’t forget to order lunch for two.

INTERVIEWER: Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
JOB APPLICANT: Simple, stop imagining.

A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? Asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?

Soldier – Sir we are surrounded by enemies from all the directions. major- excellent! now we can fire in any directions.

Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat? A: Fast food

You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always…

Shopkeeper: sir, Do u want a POCKET CALCULATOR?
.
Customer: No thanks. I know how many pockets i have..!

If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I’d put U and I together

Heartbeats are countless …. Spirits are ageless …. Dreams are endless….. Memories are timeless…. A friend like you ……. Shameless!!!

I’d love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear “PAY THE BILL

Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nuts like U

Father: Doctor! My son swallowed a key!
Doctor: When?
Father: Three months ago
Dr: What were you doing till now?
Father: We were using a duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Father: We lost the duplicate key!

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I was born beautiful,
But what the hell happened to you?

Based on Newton’s 1st Law: Law of love – Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be changed from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

So many wonderful moments we have spent together,
So many wonderful years in all kinds of weather,
Thinking of u father brings memories to mind,
Wonderful moments i ll treasure,
These u gave me sincerely thats why my dad ,
I love u so dearly.
Happy Father’s Day

Every mother generally hopes that
Her daughter will snag a better husband
Than she managed to do…
But
She’s certain that her boy will never
Get as great a wife as his father did.

To my dad on his day,
Of whom I am a living will:
May your happiness fulfill
Your goodness, as is just and right.
Deeds are seeds upon the night
As wind and wonder have their way,
Delivering the destined light.

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. – Ruth E. Renkel

U may b out of sight bt u r alwz in my mind.
Happy Father’s Day

My father died many years ago,
And yet when something special happens to me,
I talk to him secretly not really knowing whether he hears,
But it makes me feel better to half believe it. – Natasha Josefowitz

I just owe almost everything to my father [and] it’s passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election. – Margaret Thatcher

Some things
Are just
Better the
Way they
Are like
You!
Happy Fathers’Day!

I want to tell you
How much you mean to me
Bcoz you are always
Thought about in such a special way,
And do so much to brighten any day.
Wish you a Happy Fathers Day.

Warriors. Wakeup..
It’s time 4 d battle!
Refill ur pens,
Clear d dust 4m ur txt books,
C ur syllabus & plan ur zones..
War begins in 17 days..!

Exams are like girl friends
– too many questions
– difficult to understand
– more explanation is needed
– result is always fail! :d

The probability of a topic
Coming in exam increases exponentially,
If one decides to leave the topic completely….

Xams are there,
At the paper u stare;
The answer is nowhere,
Which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
The grades r not fair,
But just like the past 20 yrs,
We dont care !!

First line to write in exams:
All the answers written below
Are imaginary and work of my creative mind.
Any resemblence to text book
Is unintentional and purely accidental

Fights for friends.
Joyful trips.
Examination fever.
Suspense of results.
Making parodies of teachers.
Joking with juniors.
Carefree laughters.
Gossips about affairs.
Just everything….
People call it ill manners.
We call it life.

It takes
3 months for a writer
2 months for a doctor
1 month for a lawyer and
Only 1 night before exam for a student
To read a 1000 pages book
All the best!

If a paper comes very tough in exam.
Just close your eyes for a moment.
Take a deep breath and say loudly.
.
.
.
This is a very interesting subject,
I want to study it again.

A father asks peon: how are the studies in this college?
Where do i see my son in future?
Peon: the future is bright,
I had also completed my engineering from the same college!

Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
Holdin d question paper in hand
N tellin ur self
Dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!

Lovely days in my life :
Childhood days,
School days
& collage days,
Horrible days in my life :
Only exam days

The law sayz,
If u can’t convince someone, confuse them!
Do u know which law it is?
This is “law of answering in examination”…:-)

7 things students do
During exams preparation:
1- sleeping
2- eating
3- texting
4- watch movies
5-chat with friends
6- dream of touching books
&
7- ask others
Studied something?

My nights are going sleepless,
My days are going useless.
So i asked god,
Is this love?
God replied,
No dear, exams is near

A fulfilling future belongs 2 those with strong vision and resilence. It doesn’t matter where U might be now.Starting well n finishing strong is what counts.

A JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES STARTED WITH ONLY ONE STEP.
GUD LUCK IN UR EXAMS AS IT IS THE FIRST STEP OF UR CAREER

A negative thinker sees a difficulty in every opportunity, A positive thinker sees
an opportunity in every difficulty, wish u an optimistic life.

A Prayer Can Go Where I Cannot Go.
Through Prayers I Can B With U
Without Being There.
I May B Miles Away
But My Prayers Will Always B With U.
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ALLL THE BEST

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. Good luck

All you need in the life is ignorance and confidence and then success is sure. Good luck.

Always try 2 b a first place winner,coz d second place winner is d first loser

An icing can make a cake so sweet, A string can make a balloon so high, A matches can make a candle so bright, i hope that my simple hi can make you smile and happy.

Angels east, Angels west, bless da person who reads this sms. May guide her 2 rest & when he wakes 2moro may perform @ his best!

Are you hungry? Neva mind I have two bowls,
1 for wishes and 1 for luck.
Wishes are mine and luck is yours.
You can take it or leave it, choice is yours.