SMS, Text Messages

Q: What is the standard greeting of the lion to the other animals?
A: Am pleased to eat you!

Q: When do you put a watch in the oven?
A: When you want to have a hot time.

Q: What is the first step to getting rich?
A: Learn to shut up, as silence is golden.

Q: What did the little bulb say to the mom bulb?
A: I wove you watts and watts.

Q: Which apple has the shortest temper?
A: The crab apple.

Q: What does one call a bear with no ear?
A: B. (No ear)

Q: Is it better to write on a full or an empty stomach?
A: Writing on paper works the best.

Q: Which animal has more lives than the cat?
A: Frogs, because they “croak” each night.

Q: What goes around a field but does not move?
A: The fence.

Q: Which is the easiest way to make a cigarette “lighter”?
A: Simple – just take out the tobacco.

Q: What happens when you eat alphabet soup?
A: You swallow your words.

Q: What made the boy from believing the tiger?
A: He thought it was lion [lying].

Q: Why do people always begin their journey with the right foot first?
A: Mainly because when you move one foot, the other is left behind.

Q: What happens to a refrigerator when you shut off its power?
A: It loses its cool.

Q: Why do storks stand on one leg only?
A: If they lifted that, they would fall down.

Q: Differentiate a greedy person and an electric toaster?
A: While one takes the most, the other makes the toast.

Q: Name an invisible baby drink?
A: Evaporated milk.

Q: Why don’t scarecrows have any fun?
A: Simply because they are stuffed shirts.

Q: Why did the chicken hesitate to cross the street?
A: Since there was a KFC on the other side.

Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out?
Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in.

What could be a computer’s favorite dance item?
Disk – o!

How can you make number seven to an even number?
Just take the “s” out from it!

Which is the place pencils like to go for a vacation?
Pencil – vania!

Why did the computer consult with the doctor?
Because it was suffering from a virus!

What is owned by you but mostly used by others?
Your name!

Which is the flower on face?
Tu – lips!

Which is the way chosen by crazy people?
The psycho path!

Can you name a bear with no socks?
A bare-foot!

Can a leopard hide anywhere?
No, he is always spotted!

How can you make a golden soup?
Just add 24 carrots to the soup!

What kind of a star can be risky?
A shooting star!

How do the prisoners communicate with each other?
Through cell phones!

In which bank Dracula like to save money?
In a blood bank!

What type of waves are there in small beaches?
Microwaves!

Q: What made the man fix his car horn?
A: Since it did not give a hoot.

Q: What really happened when uncle “Abel” passed away?
A: He just became “Unable”

Q: What do you to do to make notes of stone?
A: Just rearrange the letters.

Q: What can be drawn without a drawing aid?
A: Your breath.

Q: What was the umbrella that Louis XI used to carry in the rain?
A: Obviously, a wet one.

Why do soccer players hold boot to their ear?
Because soccer players like to hear the sole music!

Which is the hardest part in skydiving?
of course the ground!

Why can’t you tell jokes while doing ice skating?
Because the ice might crack up!

Golfer: “I will move heaven and earth with this game of golf and will break all the records.”
Caddy: “Yeah Sure! Trying heaven will be better, because you have already moved most of the earth with this shot.”

A man entered a cool bar and ordered a milk shake, but suddenly he got a telephone call. So before attending call he took a napkin and wrote, “The World’s Strongest Weightlifter,” and left it under his glass to make sure nobody drinks his milk shake.
But he was shocked when he returned, the glass was empty. Now at spot of old napkin there was a new napkin with new writing that said:
“Thanks for the treat!”
“The World’s Fastest Runner”

Why are soccer grounds odd?
It is because you can sit in the stands, but cant stand in the sits!

Why the cricketer took a piece of rope while coming to the ground?
Because he was the skipper of the team!