SMS, Text Messages

If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way.

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. – billy connolly

Marriage, families, all relationships are more a process of learning
The dance rather than finding the right dancer.
Paul pearsall

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce.
The trick is to find, and continue to find, the grounds for marriage.
Robert anderson

There is such pleasure in long-term marriage that i really would hate to be
My age and not have had a long-term marriage. Remember, sustaining a pleasurable,
Long-term marriage takes effort, deliberateness and an intention to learn about
One another. In other words, marriage is for grown-ups.

To be happy with a men:love him little and understand him alot..
To be happy with a woman:love her alot and do not try to understand her—

Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. – jefferson machamer

There are two times a man doesn’t understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.

New love is the brightest, and long love is the greatest, but revived
Love is the tenderest thing known on earth.
Thomas hardy

Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
A: Because it was framed.

Q: Name a profession where the worker earns a living by driving their customers away?
A: Taxi drivers.

Q: What did the first pencil say to the second pencil?
A: You are looking sharp.

Q: Which insect runs away from basically everything?
A: The Flee.

Q: What do you normally call a baby monkey?
A: A “chimp” off the old block.

Q: Who can marry many wives and yet be single?
A: A minster.

Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
A: That he was too young to smoke.

Q: Which piece of wood lives like a king?
A: The ruler.

Q: Why do firefighters wear red and not blue suspenders?
A: Obviously, to keep their pants up.

Q: What did the muffler tell the car owner?
A: I am exhausted.

Q: What do people who don’t like time on their hands use?
A: A pocket watch.

Q: Where do computers go to dance?
A: To a disc-o.

Q: Why aren’t there any giraffes in the elementary school?
A: Obviously, they are all in the High School.

Q: Which month do soldiers hate the most?
A: March

Q: What did the mason say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I will plaster you with cement.

Q: Why do golfers always carry an extra pant?
A: In case, they get a hole in one.

Q: What was the reason for the computer to break up with the internet?
A: There was no “connection.”

Q: Why did the man leave his job at the juice factory?
A: Because, he could not concentrate.

Q: Why did the production line-man put a clock under his desk?
A: To work over-time.

Q: Which key opens doors on Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.

Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Use tomato paste.

Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?
A: Bear-foot.

Q: What made the baby strawberry cry?
A: When he saw his parents were in a jam.

Q: Why were the lady teacher’s eyes appear crossed?
A: It was obvious that she could not control her pupils.

Q: Why is a muffin and a baseball team so similar?
A: Because they both depend on the batter.

Q: What made the soccer player to bring a string to the game?
A: So that he could tie the score.

Q: What has a back with four legs and no body?
A: Chair.

Q: What happened to the man when he saw his huge gas bill?
A: He exploded.

Q: What type of electricity do they have in Washington?
A: Direct Current or D.C

Q: What type of trees comes in pairs?
A: Pear Trees.

Q: Which day of the week is the best day to go to the beach?
A: On a Sun Day.

Q: Who won the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying hard to “ketchup.”

Q: What will happen if you eat yeast mixed with shoe polish every night?
A: Each morning you will rise and shine

Q: Why did the crazy scientist prevent the sick eagle from entering his lab?
A: Simply, because it was ill-eagle or illegal!

Q: How are tough chickens made?
A: They are made from hard boiled eggs.

Q: How do cowboys watch television when they are out?
A: By saddle lights.

Q: What is the swamp-thing’s favourite dessert?
A: Perhaps, marsh mellows…

Q: Who is bigger – Mr Bigger or his baby?
A: Mr. Bigger’s baby is “Little Bigger”

Q: What is a pussycat who eats lemon called?
A: A sourpuss.

Q: First, there is a red mill, then a walk and then there is a key. What is it called?
A: Milwaukee.

Q: How many seconds are in a year?
A: Twelve – [2nd January to 2nd December].

Q: Which American has the largest family?
A: George Washington – He’s the father of the country [USA]

Q: Which team is the monster’s favourite one?
A: The Giants.