Husband Wife Funny SMS

Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver and wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan.
Husband:What was THAT for?
Wife:I found a paper in your pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband:I played RACE last week and Jenny was the name of my HORSE.
Wife:Sorry!
Next day the Wife hit him with the Frying Pan AGAIN!
Husband:Why?
Wife:Your Horse PHONED!

wife : Look A Thief Has Entered Our Kitchen

N He Is Eating D Cake Prepared By Me

Husband: Whom should I Call

Now Police Or Ambulance..

Wife to doc: Doc, I think my husband has a fearful disease.I talk to him for hours and he doesn’t hear a word I say.
Doc:That’s not a disease, its a gift!

Husband:I’ll admit I’m wrong if you’ll admit I’m right!
Wife:I agree! u go first!
Husband:OK,I’m wrong!
Wife(with a twinkle in her eye):you are right!

Wife going to USA
Wife: Do u want anything from USA?
Husband: Yeah, an English girl
Wife returns from USA
Husband: where’s my gift?
Wife: wait for 9 months

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no

Wife: (expecting a car)
Gift me something which goes from 0 to 100 in 3 seconds when I’m on it.
Husband: gifted her a weighing machine…. .!

2 Married Men Talking-
10yrs Ago,
Whenever I Returned Home,
My Dog Used To Greet Me By Barking & My Wife By Kissing.
Now They Both Exactly Do The Opposite

Man On His Death Bed Confesses 2 His Wife-I Had An Affair With Ur Sister, Ur Best Friend & The Maid.
Wife : I Know Darling. Now Relax & Let The Poison Work! ..;-)

Wife: If I removed the cook & make the food myself 4 a month,what will u pay me?
Husband: I don’t have 2 pay u, u will get my entire insurance amount.;-)

Women live a better,
longer & peaceful life.. !!
Why?
Very simple…..
A woman does not have a wife !!!!

A Sad girl was sitting with her husband
Husband: U r d second most beautiful girl, I’ve ever seen.
Girl: Who’s the first?
Husband: It’s YOU When u smile.